| Wednesday, April 21, 2010 |
| Goose and the News |
Often Goose asks me what I'm reading or watching especially when it comes to the news. I will read almost everything happening as she patiently listens, though she may not have any idea what "women's reproductive rights" means.
Sometimes she asks, sometimes I suspect her to be mentally singing a Black Eyed Peas song as her eyes glaze over and she snuggles close.
That's why it was so funny this morning when she told her brother that she was "imposing a trade embargo" with him on marbles.
And though I had to step in, ineffectively might I add, much like the UN and attempt to broker peace, I was chuckling and humming "Hail to the Chief" as I told the future Ms. President to play nice.
Who knew? She's learning and paying attention to everything? |
posted by Lori @ 12:52 PM  |
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| Monday, April 19, 2010 |
| To Monkey |
Dearest Monkey,
You mystify me. I would love to end it there, but I need to document these incidents for future study.
Why? You ask to color with markers like your sister, but when it comes time to put marker to paper, you'd prefer a Crayola tattoo? And in quite possibly the strangest place a marker has ever been put!
Then, as I attempt to wrangle you back into a diaper, what happens to my sock, Little Man?
I need to know what you were thinking. Is it the start of some weird fetish? Will I see you carting the Hanes catalog's sock section into the bathroom in ten years? Or do all little boys grab their mothers' sock and press their penises to the cotton and laugh hysterically. Not once, but three times!
Three times! I'm sorry, but you sir, are a freak.
Oh, and Wall-E does not want to talk to your little Monkey, no matter how many times you put it on your play phone and say "not ringing".
I love you. But know that staplers and safety pins may be called into play for your future outfits.
Love,
Mom |
| posted by Lori @ 11:39 PM |
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| Friday, April 16, 2010 |
| To the Lady at Whole Foods |
Dear Lady in the Whole Foods Supplement Aisle,
Hi! How have you been? Have you been judging anyone lately?
You know, you're shopping at Whole Foods, the hippie store, and while the people ringing us up are named "Sarah" and "Marty" still others are "Ciara", "Rain" and "Les". Clearly it's not so much a problem then, but you'd prefer to make note of it to my kids.
And sure, you never heard their real names, if you had heard Monkey's name, and started commenting on Witch Trials or Cigarette Brands, I might have been ready to fire back at you.
Instead, you're downgraded to a blog post, since you started in when you thought I called Goose "Purple" when asking her to pick up some juice. Sure, "Purple" might be a bit unusual, but is it worth rolling your eyes and gesturing that I was crazy?
Nope.
And the more I write here, the more I think the next animal we have will be named "purple" in your honor. Because what I name my kids is my business, and they don't need to be told their weird or will be laughed at for the rest of their days by a woman whose name, irony of ironies, is Violet. I don't know the etymology of Violet, but I'm sure it involved some eye rolling as well.
Violet, it's been a pleasure.
Sincerely,
Purple, the blogger formerly known as Lori |
| posted by Lori @ 6:24 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Lori
Home: Sacramento-ish, California, United States
About Me: I want to make things better.
See my complete profile
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