Biggy-Ziggy
 
Monday, April 19, 2010
To Monkey

Dearest Monkey,

You mystify me. I would love to end it there, but I need to document these incidents for future study.

Why? You ask to color with markers like your sister, but when it comes time to put marker to paper, you'd prefer a Crayola tattoo? And in quite possibly the strangest place a marker has ever been put!

Then, as I attempt to wrangle you back into a diaper, what happens to my sock, Little Man?

I need to know what you were thinking. Is it the start of some weird fetish? Will I see you carting the Hanes catalog's sock section into the bathroom in ten years? Or do all little boys grab their mothers' sock and press their penises to the cotton and laugh hysterically. Not once, but three times!

Three times! I'm sorry, but you sir, are a freak.

Oh, and Wall-E does not want to talk to your little Monkey, no matter how many times you put it on your play phone and say "not ringing".

I love you. But know that staplers and safety pins may be called into play for your future outfits.

Love,
Mom
posted by Lori @ 11:39 PM  
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Name: Lori
Home: Sacramento-ish, California, United States
About Me: I want to make things better.
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