Biggy-Ziggy
 
Friday, April 16, 2010
To the Lady at Whole Foods

Dear Lady in the Whole Foods Supplement Aisle,

Hi! How have you been? Have you been judging anyone lately?

You know, you're shopping at Whole Foods, the hippie store, and while the people ringing us up are named "Sarah" and "Marty" still others are "Ciara", "Rain" and "Les". Clearly it's not so much a problem then, but you'd prefer to make note of it to my kids.

And sure, you never heard their real names, if you had heard Monkey's name, and started commenting on Witch Trials or Cigarette Brands, I might have been ready to fire back at you.

Instead, you're downgraded to a blog post, since you started in when you thought I called Goose "Purple" when asking her to pick up some juice. Sure, "Purple" might be a bit unusual, but is it worth rolling your eyes and gesturing that I was crazy?

Nope.

And the more I write here, the more I think the next animal we have will be named "purple" in your honor. Because what I name my kids is my business, and they don't need to be told their weird or will be laughed at for the rest of their days by a woman whose name, irony of ironies, is Violet. I don't know the etymology of Violet, but I'm sure it involved some eye rolling as well.

Violet, it's been a pleasure.

Sincerely,
Purple, the blogger formerly known as Lori
posted by Lori @ 6:24 AM  
1 Comments:
  • At April 16, 2010 at 12:00 PM, Anonymous Sarah said…

    That's why you should carry around a camera. Start taking pictures of these people to post on your blog under the lable "jerkwad."

     

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Name: Lori
Home: Sacramento-ish, California, United States
About Me: I want to make things better.
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